We live in a society that constantly pushes us to measure ourselves against others. Whether it’s professional success, personal relationships, or even physical appearance, comparison has become almost a reflex. However, this process can be detrimental to our personal growth. Not only does comparison distract us from our goals, but it can also lead us into a state of perpetual dissatisfaction.
Why do we talk about “temptation”? In this case, it’s not a moral issue but an impulse that arises spontaneously, almost automatically, and distracts us from our purpose. Just like when we’re focused on a task and the phone vibrates, pulling our attention away, comparison works in the same way. It’s a force that takes us off our path, leading us to judge what we are against what others are, often automatically and unconsciously.
This tendency to compare is deeply rooted in our culture and the way we learn from a young age. We grow up in an environment that constantly encourages us to measure ourselves against others. However, if we truly want to grow, learn, and mature, we must free ourselves from this habit. Comparison is always asymmetrical: there’s always someone better and someone worse, trapping us in a cycle of judgments about ourselves and others.
(Photo – Robert Collins)
Comparison vs. Self-Awareness
The solution to this dynamic is consideration leading to self-awareness, a much more constructive and healthy process. Unlike comparison, it does not involve judgment but is based on open dialogue with others and ourselves. Consideration allows us to suspend judgment and ask ourselves: What inspires me about this person? What qualities or characteristics would I like to develop? It’s a reflection that pushes us to look within to understand what we’re lacking and why we desire it.
For example, if we notice that we are fascinated by someone’s friendliness and would like to be more sociable, we need to ask ourselves why we feel this need. It’s not about discovering deep causes, but understanding what we want to achieve at that specific moment in our lives. The need thus turns into a concrete goal. We may realize that we want to improve our relationships or gain more confidence in social settings.
Once we have identified our goal, the next step is to determine the key element we want to integrate into our lives. In the case of friendliness, we can observe which aspect of the person we are contrasting resonates most with us: their smile, posture, communication style, listening ability, etc. This will allow us to practice consciously, slowly bringing this change into how we relate to others. Over time, this new approach will become part of our personality, making us feel more satisfied and fulfilled.
Conclusion
Overcoming the temptation to compare ourselves to others is not an immediate process, but it requires awareness and a desire for growth. Focusing on self-awareness rather than comparison helps us develop a better version of ourselves without falling into the trap of judgment. It’s a journey that requires practice and patience, but it will lead us to greater personal and relational satisfaction.
This becomes a training ground where we can work on our virtues, reshaping what works best for us and building, step by step, the person we want and aspire to be.
